‘He has got Indian passport but he does not look like an Indian.’
It was August 26, when I first arrived in Beijing. Beijing was busy welcoming guests from across the globe. Beijing was blooming and there was no reason why it should not have been, as China was hosting 2008 Olympic Games. Thousands of ordinary people thronged to Beijing to watch historic Olympic Games. One could see volunteers – trained and acclimatized with the foreign cultures – everywhere including airports, railway stations, highways, at all most all the commercial and tourist places - to help and do the interpretation for visitors. What added color to the Olympics in Beijing and made China proudest host was when their athletes won most of the gold medals. If 2001 formally opened China to the world market, 2008 opened gates of Chinese culture to the world culture and vice-versa.
When I arrived in Beijing, before I could come out of the airport, I faced a hard but truthful reality. At the immigration check despite the clearance, they asked me to wait. As Chinese was indeed alien for me till that time, I knew only one Chinese word Ni hao (hello), I could not understood the reason they stopped me. After waiting for 20 minutes, I started looking for an interpreter who could help me, what they are looking for, but I could not find one. All I could see, they were calling some people on the phone that made me scared. I thought they will arrest me for the reason I don’t know, or I will never know. Coming from the conflict hit Kashmir region, I could only imagine how people were arrested, killed, or disappeared during nineties, so I was just preparing my self for the same experience. I had a sigh of relief when I saw an Indian man talking to them and after waiting impatiently again for 20 minutes, they let me go. Though I got a bit of relief, but felt very perturbed why did they halt me here? So what was it; they were looking for? Why did they allow everybody to go and kept me waiting? What was the problem? These questions were hammering my mind, I rushed to see that an Indian man, to find out what were these officials looking for, after some minutes of search I could find him and ask him; can you please tell me: Why didn’t they allow me to go first? Why they asked me to wait for more than half an hour? What is the problem? … He smiled and said: they didn’t believe you are an Indian. They said, ‘he has got an Indian passport, but does not look like an Indian.’ This puzzled me and was the starting point when I realized that it is not only me, but people outside Indian boundaries too don’t accept me as an Indian. I remember when I was questioned at Amsterdam Airport in 2006 for the same reason. This was the time again I was forced to think ‘who am I? What is my identity?’ My passport calls me an Indian, but despite having Indian passport people don’t accept me as an Indian. From my classmates to other acquaintances from around the world, everybody know me as a Kashmiri, why so? It is not me only who would proudly love to be called as Kashmiri than Indian, but the people around me don’t accept me as an Indian either.
Chinese being predominantly Han ethnic group have little knowledge about religions. Yes, there is no doubt they know the major religions of the world, like: Christianity, Buddhism, and Islam. Christianity because of Christmas celebrations, which most of the Chinese love to celebrate, though most of them don’t know why they do so. Buddhism had an amicable impact on Chinese society, and Islam, as Muslims are the second largest minority here in China. There are around two hundred thousand Muslims living in China. Though the state does not recognize any religion, but I have not seen any restrictions on the practice of any religion here. Unlike most of the democratic countries, all most all the universities have separate restaurants for Muslim students, which offer Halhal and subsidized food. Finding Halhal food outside the universities is not difficult, either. Besides a number of Muslim restaurants, one can find packed Halhal food with Islamic organization stamp on it, in almost all the supermarkets in Beijing, and other cities of China.
When I arrived in Tsinghua University, the university I had never heard of before I applied for it .Tsinghua is among the top fifty universities in the world, with more than 30,000 undergrad and grad students, and around 5000 Ph. D. scholars indeed was unimaginable for me. It takes 30 minutes by bicycle to shutter from one department to other, and hard to explore whole campus even you spend whole day walking or riding bicycle. Joining (MID) Program in The School of Public Policy, which has 42 students from 32 nationalities; Teachers who been teaching or taught around the globe; The School where from Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair Bush, Sonia Gandhi, and Hillary Clinton, to the noble prize winners like Al Gore and Joseph Stieglitz have delivered lectures, has fascinated me in every respect.
Studying in Tsinghua is not only challenging for me in academic respect, but it also became more challenging for me owing to my Muslim identity. I have to answer questions posed by my fellow students and people around me on the issues related to Muslim world. Whether there is attack in Islamabad in Pakistan, or it is a discussion of American aggression in Iraq and Afghanistan, or be politics, economy and social system in Muslim world. The most frequently of them asked is: Why Muslims become terrorists? Why women are not treated well in Muslims countries. These very questions forced me to read more about my religion, and Muslim world. Then came a unique, yet surprising and challenging opportunity for me, which nobody had got so for in post Cultural Revolution in China. I was asked to give presentation on Islam in the Tsinghua University, for which school provided official funds for arrangements. I couldn’t believe it, as if it was a dream. How can they allow me to do presentation on Islam? State does not recognize any religion here. Just I could not believe, nor did my friends. Then came the time to do presentation, I could see posters pasted on the school wall, presentation on Islam, teachers and students from other departments have been invited too to join the presentation. I was nervous and there was reason to be, as I had to do presentation on the most discussed religion in the world. When I did my presentation on Islam, it was again dominated by questions like, Terrorism, women’s rights in Islam, and problems faced by Muslim world. The important and relevant example of present Muslim world I could quote was Kashmir’s transition from armed moment to the non-violent moment. I was surprised, when one of my classmate from United Kingdom, during the question answer session stood up and said, ‘I am shameful for whatever is happening in Kashmir, as it is the creation of my country, UK.’
Over the last six months in Beijing I have faced very harsh realities of identity, am I an Indian, or a Kashmiri, if I am Muslim, I should be then a terrorist, an orthodox or an illiterate. What not. I don’t go to discos or bars, yet I know the history and culture of western world, I can speak in their language; I am as modern as they are, I speak more against terrorism than any non-Muslim. Yet they know ‘he is a Muslim; a threat for the world.’ This is not what they say me; this is what I always feel.
I was astonished to see Beijing as a clean city despite so populated and congested. When I was in Sweden in 2006, I was amazed to see the cleanliness there but when I came to China, I realized keeping Uppsala or Stockholm clean is not a difficult task, as the population of these Scandinavian cities is proportionately very less as compared to Beijing. From Starbucks to MacDonald, and jazz music Beijing has everything to offer. (Even) as a Muslim, it paved me chance to visit Chinas first and one of the world’s oldest mosque, Niujie Mosque, built in 996 AD. Masjids are a connecting force for people of the faith. It is Hidian Mosque, not far from Peking, and Tsinghua universities, which helps me to meet Muslim students from around the globe. But more impotently Hidian Mosque provided me the chance to meet cream of Pakistani scholars, who pursue their Ph.D. degrees in different universities in Beijing. Interacting and meeting with this influential Pakistani intelligentsia is something enriching. There are more than 30 Pakistani scholars pursuing PhD in Beijing, on HEC (higher education commission) scholarship of Pakistan. But recently a friend who belongs to other part of Kashmir told me that scholarship program has been now closed by the new government, which he perceived as a blow to the education system in Pakistan. After interacting with most of the Pakistani students, I realized none of them is in favor of independence of Kashmir. Yes all of them are against gun culture, they call it terrorism. I wonder when the same people are sent to Kashmir, how they become Mujahids. I was told a sizable number of them were criminals and thugs from many other countries, who had been given choice either to go jail, or Kashmir.
Amidst this networking, studying, and playing in a foreign country, I feel very safe, as safe as I have never been in my whole life. Here I don’t have to show my identity card, unlike my own land, where I cannot step out of my home without it. But here too the question of identity haunts me.
….Ends….
